Linens & In-Laws

My husband is a very patient man. He often tells me: "Stai calma. Lasciali fare quello che vogliono fare" which means: Stay calm. Just let them do what they want to do.

This is in reference to linens & in-laws, of all things. In Italy, having adequate linens for your house is very important. In a way, it is sign of the success of the family and of course how good the casalinga (housewife) is.

When I arrived from America with my 3 suitcases containing all my belongings (aka: mostly clothes because the rest of my "stuff" I either sold, threw away or stored with family). Of course the first thing I did was put away my clothes in the armadio (closet). Keep in mind we have a small one bedroom apartment and in that bedroom is 2 closets- one for me and one for my husband.

You can imagine my shock and horror when I realized I had to share one shelf of my closet with towels and sheets. I couldn't believe how many towels were in the closet. I think since I've lived on my own, I've owned at most maybe 4 of each kind of towel. There must have been at least 10 of every kind of towel imaginable. So I asked my husband, "Where did all these towels come from?" To which my husband responded (like any good Italian man will): "E' meglio non chiedere" which in English simply means: it's better not to ask.

Well for those who know me well, it's impossible for me to not ask why. So one day I ask Mamma G. where all the towels came from. She then explained to me the tradition in Italy of how when a couple gets married, it is the responsibility of the parents to buy linens for their children. But not just one of everything- the magic number is "12." I'm not sure why yet it's "12" and not say "10" but that is a lesson for me to learn on another day.

The most amazing part is some Italian families (like my husbands') actually make some of the items, versus buying them. This tradition is not only to save money but to get the best material for the best price. I later found out that the 12 dishtowels were all hand made. Do you know how much work that is? Americans go to a store like Bed, Bath & Beyond and just buy what they need...maybe finding something cute that matches the kitchen or something on sale. That is the most effort I have personally put into dishtowels. But I don't think I've ever heard of anyone making a dishtowel.

Well then one day, came up the subject of tovaglie (tablecloths).

I think in America, I used a tablecloth twice a year - Thanksgiving & Christmas. The rest of the year, I just placed my dishes on the bare table. But here, an Italian wouldn't think of eating on a table without a tablecloth. To them, that would be like a meal without pasta or Christmas without panettone...you just don't do it.

So one day Mamma G. said, "Hai bisogno le tovaglie. Andiamo al negozio per prendere il materiale." So off to the store we went. How hard could it be make a tablecloth? Looking back, I had no idea.

First, we had to look for the fabric. So we went to a shop one afternoon that sold beautiful fabric at good prices. I picked out two fabrics I liked. The next step was for Mamma G. and her sorella, Maria, to come to our apartment to measure the table. Then, they had to wash the fabric first (in case it shrunk). Mamma G. left the fabric with me to wash but I really wasn't sure at that point what was going on so after 2 days of her asking if I had washed it yet, she took it back and said she would wash it. Next, Maria sewed the tablecloth but then had to bring the tablecloth back over to make sure the length was correct before adding the border. Then we had to go to the market to buy the lace for the border. There are many types of lace to choose from so this process alone took 20 minutes. Maria then sewed on the border and then we had to facilitate one more visit to our house to see the final tablecloth in place.

Of course the tablecloths are beautiful and we use them everyday but the American in me just wants to scream, "Let's just go to the store next time and buy one!" But I guess this is what they mean when they say it's more about the journey than the destination.