Big Al

Today my grandmother Althea would have been 93. We lovingly called her 'Big Al' because she always seemed to think she knew everything. And most of the time, she did.

Big Al did almost everything a woman could do in one lifetime. She owned every business possible from a hotel to a restaurant to a toy shop and finally a magazine in Maine for tourists. Come to think of it, she was pretty progressive for a woman from her generation.

When I was a kid, we used to come to visit her and my grandfather every year in Florida. They lived in St. Cloud, which was close to Orlando so we used to go to Disneyworld too while we were there which is always a blast for a kid. My grandfather Harold was a character. He would get grumpy over little things and throw his cards down in a fit of rage during our Jacobs card playing-ritual if he was losing. My grandmother never seemed to get too upset about it though. She would just chuckle and keep playing cards. Winning was important to her.

When I was in high school, I was never very close to Big Al. Maybe because she had this air of being successful that she didn't feel like a loving grandmother to an insecure teenager. Or maybe it was because my other grandmother Dolores (on my mother's side) was the complete opposite. She was an assistant art teacher her whole life and instead of focusing on a career, just focused on doing things for family - taking care of people, sewing, painting and cooking. Two very different women but as I realized over time, two very wonderful grandmothers.

My relationship changed with Big Al after writing her a letter when I was at the University of Maine. I was honest with her for the first time in years and wrote how I never felt like she cared about me that much. I was surprised to receive an immediate response, detailing how she always felt like I didn't love her- that perhaps I loved my other grandmother more. And from that day forward, I put more effort into sharing my life with her, through letters and through visits....through walks on the beach and long talks. In the past 15 years, I got to really know Big Al and it was nice to feel the love from two grandmothers, instead of just one.

What I loved about her is she believed in me no matter what. She believed in me when I decided to leave Maine to work in advertising in New York City; she believed in me when I lost my job one year; and she believed in me when I fell in love with a man from another country and decided to leave the U.S. For that's what grandmothers do. They believe in you no matter what.

So when she told me I would figure out a way to make money here in Italy, I started writing this blog. I'm not sure what it will turn into- something my friends and family read to keep up to date with my life here in Italy or maybe someday a book about one Maine girl's adventures in Italy.

But whatever it is, this one is for Big Al.

Festa Della Donna

You have to love Italy because Italy loves its women. That is, as long as showing that love is not too expensive.

March 8th is considered the Festa della Donna- International Women's Day. It is an international holiday celebrated almost everywhere...except the U.S. As an American, I had never heard of it before moving here.

First, a little history on Festa della Donna. Because I can't tell you how many times my dear suocera Savina has asked me why Americans don't celebrate Festa della Donna. "Come mai?" (Why not?) she'll shriek with wide eyes, as if I just told her that no one in America eats pasta. According to Wikipedia, "among other historic events, it came to commemorate the 1911 Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire." This event was "one of the largest industrial disasters in the history of New York City, causing the death of 146 garment workers, almost all of them women who either died from the fire or jumped from the fatal height. Most women could not escape the burning building because the managers would lock the doors to the stairwells and exits to keep the workers from taking cigarette breaks outdoors during their shifts." To my American friends- did you know this bit about our history? Sometimes I feel like I must have not paid attention in school because bits of history like this about my own country have either completely slipped my memory or I wasn't taught it.

What started out as a political holiday has simply turned into a holiday for men to show their appreciation of the women in their lives. They do this by giving their special woman a mazzo di mimose. You can see this flower pictured above. So how is this holiday different from Valentine's Day you might ask? Well, I have a theory on that.

I did an informal poll with all the Italian men I encountered around Valentine's Day this year. I asked each one the same question: "Che cosa hai fatto di bello per tua moglie per il giorno di San Valentino?" (What good thing did you do for your wife for Valentine's Day?) The responses I received were surprising. One of the older guys I run with, Carlo, said, "Le ho dato un bacio." (I gave a kiss). He apparently doesn't believe in St. Valentine's Day. The men at the store where I frequent everyday for bread said they didn't believe in St. Valentine's Day either because apparently San Valentino wasn't a real saint. Well, that is, he is not recognized in the Catholic calendar of saints. Yea, okay, good excuse. And then my suocero....well he bought a cake for Savina after my sister-in-law told him too.

Please note my husband is not included in the above survey. Lui e' bravo. He is one of the few Italian men who embraces Valentine's Day. Probably because I start reminding him a month in advance so he realizes how important it is to me. I even start suggesting gift ideas. Because I know, it's a commercialized holiday- yes. And I know roses and chocolate tend to double in price close to Valentine's Day (what a rip-off). But you know what doesn't double in price? VESTITI o SCARPE o BORSE! (CLOTHES or SHOES or PURSES!) Celebrating love is important so why not say "I love you" with clothes? Or a nice purse? Last year he bought me a beautiful maroon purse from Furla. This year, a beautiful, black wool coat. But according to my informal survey, he is the exception and not the rule here in Italy. Io sono una moglie fortunata (I am a lucky wife).

So my theory is this: although it's not an Italian holiday, Festa dalla Donna has become very popular in Italy. I think the reason it is popular is because Italian men try to avoid St. Valentine's Day celebrations at all costs. So by the time March 8th rolls around, their wives are pretty mad. As a result, Italian men embrace la Festa dalla Donna with open arms and run out to their nearest supermercato or fiorista to buy a bel mazzo di mimose for the woman in their life. And why not? A bunch of mimose cost 2.50 euros while roses cost 4 euros EACH on Valentine's Day.

So Italian men have learned how to save money- deny St. Valentine's Day exists and embrace la Festa della Donna. Hopefully for the sake of American women this holiday will stay on this side of the pond.